


Never Change

by PetrichorPerfume



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Eating Disorders, Insecure Gabriel, Let's all pretend that problems are this easy to fix in real life, Multi, Weight Issues, body image issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 05:14:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2138316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel is feeling bad about his vessel. Sam and Lucifer cheer him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Change

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: Implied/mentioned eating disorders plus body image issues.
> 
> A/N: Set in the same general universe as Shenanigans (where Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel, Cas, Dean, Sam, and Adam are all living together in the bunker) but unrelated to those stories.

When Gabriel looks at himself in the mirror, all he sees is mile upon mile of _fat._ He knows that he’s not technically overweight. He’s infuriatingly aware of it, in fact, because if he _were_ overweight he’d be able to wish away the fat. Being overweight was one of the ‘health hazards’ listed under ‘vessel deficiencies’ in the Angel Handbook right alongside poor eyesight and bad hearing, neither of which were exactly an advantage in Heavenly battles, but for some reason, he can’t quite manage to permanently alter something that isn’t actually _wrong._ Only a ‘superior’ can do that, a rule that had presumably been developed back when most of their vessels were dark-skinned and they’d been required to do work amongst Northerners back in the days when people still threw pointy things at strangers.

 

He almost wishes that Raphael were still around. The older archangel would probably either say ‘no’ just to be a dick or say yes to get Gabriel off his back. Either way, it would be easy and mostly painless. He knows that going to Michael or Lucifer will be anything _but_ easy and painless, but he doesn’t really have much of a choice if he wants his mates to find him attractive.

 

He goes to Michael first, and the eldest archangel gives him some long-winded speech about learning to love himself and maybe going on a diet and he has an embarrassing breakdown because he hasn’t eaten in a month and while he technically doesn’t need sustenance, he still _enjoys_ eating, and Michael insists on holding him afterwards and practically force feeding him bon-bons (Gabriel doesn’t put up as much of a struggle as he’d like to) and making him promise not to starve himself anymore. Gabriel feels even worse afterwards, so he goes to Lucifer.

 

“Hey, Luce,” Gabriel says nervously as he stands in the doorway to their bedroom. Lucifer is obviously in the middle of trying to get into Sam’s pants, and normally he wouldn’t interrupt but he knows he’s going to cry if he doesn’t ask _right now_ , especially since he has the sneaking suspicion that Sam has been spending more time with Lucifer because he no longer finds him attractive.

 

“Kinda busy here,” Lucifer laughs. “But you’re welcome to join.” He extends a hand towards his brother and gives him a steamy look.

 

Gabriel whimpers because he’s pretty sure that Lucifer’s just faking it. He looks towards Sam, who spreads his legs wider and gives him an identical look that strikes him as equally forced.

 

“Come on, Gabe, you haven’t played with us in forever,” Sam whines. “We’ve been lonely without you.”

 

Gabriel thinks back to the numerous advances he’d rejected that week. _No,_ he stops himself. _They were just being nice. If they’d really wanted me, they wouldn’t have stopped when I said no._ He shakes his head. “I’ll pass.”

 

Lucifer shrugs and returns to pressing little kisses along the line of Sam’s neck. “I hope you’re in the mood for a show, then. ‘Cause you’re gonna be getting one anyway if you keep standing there.”

 

Gabriel frowns. He really doesn’t want to see his two incredibly attractive lovers have sex without him for the fifth time this week. “Luce, I really need to talk to you,” he says quietly.

 

Lucifer turns back to him. “Is something wrong?” His eyes darken. “Is someone hurt? Is something wrong with Michael?”

 

Gabriel is momentarily upset that Lucifer doesn’t even consider the fact that maybe Gabriel is the one who has a problem, but then he realizes that his tone had been sort of dire and that he usually solved problems all by himself unless they were Michael-related, in which case Lucifer had the best chance of fixing whatever was wrong.

 

“Michael’s fine,” he says. “And no one is hurt. I... I just wanted to talk.”

 

Lucifer groans and shares a significant look with Sam. After a moment he throws a blanket over them both and opens his arms. “Come here.”

 

Gabriel shakes his head. “Just you.”

 

Lucifer makes another frustrated sound. “We’ve both noticed that something’s been wrong with you, and we both want to know what it is.”

 

Gabriel scowls at the accusation and wraps his arms around himself. “What? Nothing’s wrong with me! Why would you say that! I don’t go around insulting you and your stupidly perfect hair!”

 

Sam slips out of bed and Gabriel averts his eyes because he _really_ doesn’t want to see that much of his lover’s attractive male body right now. “We didn’t mean it like that, Gabe. What Lucifer meant is that you’ve been upset and we’ve both wanted to help you, but you kept pushing us away.”

 

Gabriel growls. “Sex isn’t always the answer, Sam.”

 

Sam crosses his arms. “We’ve both asked you ‘what’s wrong, sweetheart’ at least ten times each and every day for the past week, and all you said was, ‘I’m fine; quit asking,’ and every time we asked you to come cuddle with us, your answer was, ‘I’m not in the mood.’ You pushed us away every time we wanted to make love, and you haven’t kissed either of us in more than three days. Please tell me that this isn’t what I think it is,” he begs as he takes both of Gabriel’s hands in his own.

 

Gabriel pushes him away weakly. “Please, I just wanna talk to Lucifer for a little while. Then everything will be better than before, okay?”

 

Sam gives him a skeptical look and bends down to pick up a pair of pants and Gabriel _almost_ considers postponing the discussion because Sam is wearing a _plug_ and it looks so beautiful nestled in those perfect cheeks, but then he thinks better of it because _who would want a fattie like me pounding away above them?_

 

Gabriel starts crying almost as soon as Sam is gone. He throws himself at Lucifer. “Please, Luce, please, make me beautiful, make me thin, make me handsome like you, please!”

 

To Gabriel’s horror, Lucifer starts to laugh. “So that’s what this was about? You had me and Sam so worried.” He kisses the top of Gabriel’s head, then leans over his shoulder. “Sam! Come back in here!”

 

Gabriel spins around to find Sam in the doorway. “I thought... I thought you left!” He sniffles and tries to wipe his tears away, then gently smacks Lucifer’s arm. “Will you stop laughing at me?”

 

Lucifer hugs him tighter. “I’m sorry, Gabe. I’m just so _relieved._ Sam said... Sam thought that you didn’t want to be our mate anymore, and I refused to believe him, but I was so _worried,_ and then it turns out that you’re upset over nothing.”

 

Gabriel tries to squirm away, but Lucifer doesn’t let go. “It’s not nothing! I’m all fat and ugly and you don’t even want to lay with me!”

 

Sam slides up behind him and he starts to struggle harder, because he knows that his human is going to wrap his hands around his stomach and feel how fat he is. “We’ve invited you to join us every time this week, Gabe.”

 

“Yeah, but... But you didn’t mean it. You always said, ‘let’s go have sex’ and whenever I said no, you just _left_.”

 

Sam makes a little unhappy noise deep in his throat. “So you’re upset because we didn’t force you to have sex with us? Because we respected your wishes and didn’t keep pressuring you after you’d told us to stop?”

 

“Yes!” Gabriel says. “You should have tried a little harder.”

 

“We did,” Lucifer reminds him. “We said that you were welcome to join us if you changed your mind, but you never did. And you aren’t going to make either of us feel bad about not coercing you.”

 

“But-”

 

“No buts,” Lucifer says. “You are beautiful, and we want you, but we will never force you into anything.”

 

“I want you to need me,” he whimpers.

 

“We do,” Sam says. “I’ve needed you all week, but you kept saying no. And you didn’t notice, but both Michael and Dean told me to back off.”

 

Gabriel thinks back to the beginning of the week, when Sam had kept _staring_ at him during breakfast and Michael had told Sam that he was making him uncomfortable and Dean had backed their leader up and said, “Eyes forward, Sammy.”

 

“That’s what that was about?” He asks. “I just thought you were looking at me because I’m ugly.”

 

“You’re _not_ ugly,” his human responds. “Not at all. You are so, so, so beautiful and you are perfect just the way you are.”

 

Gabriel sniffles, feeling only slightly reassured. “So, there’s nothing you could change about me?”

 

Sam hesitates for a moment. “I’d change your eyes.”

 

“I thought you liked my eyes,” he whines.

 

“I do. They’re beautiful eyes. But there must be something wrong with them if they can’t see how gorgeous you are.”

 

“You really think so?”

 

“I know so.”

 

Gabriel beams. “What about you, Luce? Do you think I’m beautiful?”

 

Lucifer shakes his head fondly. “Your vessel is very appealing, but I can see your true form. And when the third most magnificent being in Creation asks me if they’re beautiful, it makes me want to do something about it.”

 

Gabriel grins. “Like what?”

 

Lucifer rolls on top of him. “Like stay here and worship him until he sees exactly what I see, with a little help from the most beautiful human soul I’ve ever met.” He sends Sam a loving glance before brushing his lips against Gabriel’s. “Come on, Sam. We have work to do.”


End file.
